Big C

I have breast cancer. 

We got a family history of breast cancer. My sister is a breast cancer warrior, we lost my paternal aunt from it. Two of 4 women in a family of one from my dad's cousin are breast cancer warriors. One maternal aunt had it, I am just not sure if she's already done or still in medication.

In April, I had my routine mammogram. 5 days after, I got a call from my PCP's office saying they found something and I needed a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. The next day, received a text from SDMI saying they received the request and I need to call them to make an appointment as this cant be done online. I called. The earliest they can give is June. So I said ok. Same day, after dinner we were watching TV and there was a commercial about checking your breast monthly. I got curious, I lift my left arm and pressed on my breast. And oh boy, I felt a lump. 

So, the nervous me posted on Thread about the lump and couple of ladies answered I needed to get checked right away. Something like needs attention right away. 

I called SDMI, I asked maybe I can get an earlier schedule because I feel a lump on my breast and I am scared. Lady said there is no earlier date available. She said to try calling daily to see if there is a cancellation, or call my clinic see if they can request right away. My MIL told me to call the clinic maybe the can get a STAT (I am not sure if that was the word but that's how I heard it, LOL). No luck, my clinic said they cant do it and just wait til June. 

June came, I went for my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, as I was done with ultrasound the technician told me I needed a biopsy because besides they found a mass on my mammogram and ultrasound, I can also feel it. 

The next day, received a text from SDMI that they received the order and they will contact me to schedule. I never got a call, so I called them after 2 days. I made the appointment and guess what, the earliest for biopsy is 5 weeks. They first asked me where I want it, they gave me couple of branches doing biopsies, when I mentioned the one closer to me, they said 5 weeks. So, I asked maybe she can just give me any branch that has a soonest available, said nothing and that's the one. LOL I took it. 

Luckily, July 1 SDMI called me and told me there that the biopsy I am doing, they are not doing it on the branch I picked (which is one of the choices the lady told me the first time), but there is also a cancellation to a different branch and a week early. I took it. I said I'll take it even though I havent asked my husband (coz he is my ride haha).

So my biopsy day came. 

It hurt like hell. The nurse explained to me what they're gonna do, the doctor is good, prepared me, made me sign some documents. BTW, before this I've searched what to expect and how the procedure is done. None of the ladies posted saying it hurts. They said it doesnt hurt. Even my sister. 

After the numbing cream, they kind of had a problem with the ultrasound thing. Waited couple of mins while the nurses fix the machine. Then, I was facing the monitor, doctor inserted needle, asking if I can feel it, I said no, then "how about this?" "No." Then "this" I screamed ouch and I think my feet moved. He said sorry and I think they injected me with anesthesia (I dont know I dont remember what they said), it burns my toes are curling, my eyes wanted to cry, I was pressing my finger nails against my other fingers. 

Then there it was, I heard that stapler sound I twitched, another one, I twitched. He said sorry again but there's another one. I cant count how many samples he took. But the last one was when he said sorry but I need another one, I already closed my eyes prepared myself for the sound of surprise and pain, but the last one finally I didnt feel. You know the feeling when you go to the dentist and they give you a numbing cream and anesthesia, you feel something but you dont feel it? I know you know, I just cant explain it right. 

I wanted to cry but I dont want to show weakness. They told me I can wear the gown on my left side again and gave me my after care list, also 2 ice pack, band aid, alcohol wipes, gauze. They showed me to another waiting area for mammogram. Says the mammogram is just to see if the marker was put in the right place then I can go home. She will call me within 48 hours to check on me. The doctor and two nurses appologized again that I got hurt.

I was probably in waiting area for 15-20 mins, the ice pack they gave me was warm already and I was in deep pain and thirsty. Trying to hold back my tears. 

Technician finally called me and said this mammo is not same as when they need to press hard, they just wanted to check the marker.

Anyway, I asked for another ice pack. Lady was nice to give me another one. 

When I saw Jason at the lobby he took my purse and gave me water. We headed to the car, and I cried while telling him what happened inside. I was just really in pain.

So, 2 days later I received an email from Quest that my result is ready for viewing. I logged in, I read it. Of course I am not familiar with what I read. 

INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA, GRADE 3.

Cancer. I was like, NO. I need to google this. Keeps saying early breast cancer. In my head I'm just reading this wrong. I need someone who can translate this. I messaged couple of nurse friends and 2 doctor friends in Manila. None of them responded even if they were just online 5-10mins ago or the one is online. Reason I picked them coz they were just online. 

2 hours later, PCP office called, my PCP wants to see me on Monday (result was Friday btw) at noon. Wow, right away. Oh yeah right, because it's cancer.

I cried. Then later on my sister woke up, we talked. Jason came home, I told him the result. I cried again. 

Monday came, and of course PCP confirmed it is cancer. The only good thing though, it's small and early detection. 

He gave me a referral to a onco surgeon and I asked for medical oncologist. 

I video called my family, of course as expected my dad said we'll be ok and we'll beat this, God will heal me. I have no doubt about that. He healed my sister, He will heal me. This doesnt mean I will lose faith, I know this means I will be closer to God too. My brother cried, same when he found out about sister years ago. We assured him we will beat this, I needed them to be strong for me. 

We called the surgeon when we got home after PCP, they told us we can call right away but wait at least a week for appointment. So they said give them couple of days to review my result and they will call us.